The softness of the heart

So even though the last post and this one are coming out on the same day, they really are weeks apart. I just didn't get to finishing that last one until today. haha.
Little Miss, as previously mentioned has been working on "loosing control". That is the best way that I can describe it. As you know with children that you have who are born to you they just grow up knowing the rules in your house. They know how things work, they know that you are in control. They know for instance in our house it is:

God

Daddy

Momma

Kids

That is how we roll. Daddy and Momma stick will confur with eachother on things, without children present, and we will always stick beside eachother as that is the way God made it. In other words you can't pit us against each other. But the kids who are born here just grow up knowing all of this. Take a child who has been a place or two, different rules, different values and plug em in here and they just simply don't know. They have to learn.

For as long as she has been here, she has learned a great deal. I must say, I am so proud of her. She is smart, witty, beautiful, (she looks like her birth mother, my cousin-a cute gal), and she is really trying to "get it" so to speak. She has a tendancy to argue about every little thing and this week she has been really trying to not do that, to catch herself. I have been noticing her do that the past few days, catching herself, that is something that she would not have done before and it is really neat to watch her do. Or to apologize all on her own, I am just watching her heart soften . It is an amazing thing. 

The hard life..

I know the title to the post sounds just horrible doesn't it. Like everything is just aweful. That is not the case, so just calm down and sit back.
Here is the reason for the title...
Little Miss, or Little Miss Thang shall we say at times is having to learn some things the hard way. I sure wish life could be full of smooth transitions and beds of roses for her. This folks, is nothing that we didn't expect, but I think that I just expected different reactions from certain people.
No matter where you are adopting from I do believe that some things remain the same. There is a transitional time ( longer for older kids), there is bonding to be had ( this can take years), and there can always be surprises :) This is no different if you happen to be adopting someone that is a relative. I do believe that there have been some misconceptions, and from state workers surprisingly, that thought since we are all family everything would be just smooth sailing, one big happy family. But are these people new? Did they attend PRIDE classes? Have they done any research on bonding, transitions, how long that takes? I don't mean so sound like a smart- alec... oh wait yes I do...  Sorry I just realized I was talking about one thing and totally side tracked to a completely different thing. Let me get back to Little Miss Thang and her cute lil 'tude....
This stubborness will serve her well one day, however child, today is not that day. Today is the day of learning how to use our words, how to vocalize our feelings, how to obey. Today is the day we are learning to not argue over every little thing, how to be okay with letting someone else give you instruction. Today Sweet Little Miss, today, you must loose control. How hard that must be for her. I mean really how hard. We are asking her to trust us, to trust that what we are saying is the right thing to do, and that she has to just go for it.  Maybe she has not had many people in her life that have followed all the way through with a consequence. Not just sending her to her room if she is be a little mouthy, but following up afterward. Talking with her explaining the how's and the why's.
She is learning though. Always learning. I think back to some of the first things she said when she first came here. And to how far she has already come. A child who asked us "how do you pray? What do you say? Show me." A child who would readily throw a fit for 2-ish hours over being told to not ride past a certain point, then when she did and had to get off of the bike just lost it. This child has come so far.

And praise be to God for that.

 

God promised us Joy and we have it. Is it work everyday? You bet! But I ask are not most things that you get joy from the things you work the hardest for. I think so.

Our Little Miss Thang has been working so hard on her listening and attitude it just amazes me. I have been writing the post over a series of like 3 weeks and I will post next about her changing heart:)