Riding in a car...

You know that song, by..uh...Barney ....riding in a car riding in a car we go riding in a car...well as in riding in a car it's stuck in my head, so enjoy suckers! Hey I never said this big was all informational, or motivational, or spiritual, or any other of those -Al kinds of words. So where are we riding you ask? Right now  it's over the river and through the Woods to grandmother's house we go... No really I'm serious, but I just couldn't help myself either:)  tomorrow it's Kianna's graduation. She it's such a wonderful young woman, I just can't wait to see what God had in store for her life!

This is the middle....

This is the middle, the in between, the peanut butter and jelly that gets us to obedience. I have become a firm believer that sometimes God uses steps to reach us. Sometimes even when he says leap, you sit on your butt and wail "no I'm scared." So God must chuckle and say "oh you stubborn little children, don't you know that what I have is better that what you are doing, now do what Daddy says, here I will make it easier for you little turkeys. We will take baby steps."
That is what we did, baby steps...at first. We slowly filled out paperwork. A little here and a little there. After that verse I waited a week or two and then I basically verbally vomitted all over Nash. I just rushed out with everything and totally overwhelmed it, needless to say it shut him down, at first. Then we randomly got an email about a family matter concerning some kids who were currently not placed with their mom. This was a step. Would we be willing to have them come to our house? We prayed about it and decided that yes, if the courts and family decided that is what they wanted we would. We thought well man, that was easy! Forget the paperwork and homestudy God just dropped this in our laps. I mean I jokingly prayed that it sure would be nice to have kids just fall into our laps but I didn't really think it would happen! This situation, however, did not pan out. And when I realized I was ok with that, I realized that was not the situation God had for us. That sometimes he places things in our life to make us ready. It has been neat to talk with Nash about all the things that have gone on over the past year and see what He has done.

"He who heeds the word wisely will find good, And whoever trusts in the Lord, happy is he."
Prov 16:20
Bible study- I actually followed through with bible study this year. yes applaud, it's ok. I usually go a few times and then stuff comes up and I drop off. But this year I went every week unless we were sick or out of town. It was awesome. We were in Esther. All year. What I found interesting was the main message seemed to be obedience. I noticed that the gals talked a lot about this and listening to God.
"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. "
Philippians 1:6
"being confident of the very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ."

These are a few of the verses I have bookmarked...just a few, from my time in bible study. God reminding me that what He has started He will complete, we just need to trust, pray, and obey. Mind you this is such a large leap into something we have never done before. But we started thinking that we always tell our kids "listen and obey." That they have to obey us, just like we have to obey God. If we had confirmation that this is what we were supposed to do and we didn't obey our Father what would we teach our children. Sure, they would never know. But we would know. Always. We would always know that we had a chance to live life and show our kids what it means to obey and move when God says and that we didn't. I know that I would always wonder what might have been. We won't have to wonder, we choose to obey what God is saying and what God is promising to our family.

Sept. 2011

Let me start with saying that sometimes people need their pants kicked by our sweet Lord. I am one of those people. I am doubting, I am questioning, I don't get things on the first time, then when I think I get something I question it, I sit on it, I say "is that really you God, or is that my wildly awesome inner monologue saying what I want to say? I mean those 10+ verses are kind of intreguing, and the fact that every time I go to church it has to to with 'obeying', 'listening to God's voice', kinda cool but how do I KNOW?!?!"

Isaiah 61:7
Instead of your shame you shall have double honor, And instead of confusion they shall rejoice in their portion.Therefore in their land they shall possess double;
Everlasting joy shall be theirs.

This verse might not mean much to many people and to many they might not even see what I see. But this is what God gave me and told me to start seriously praying about adoption. I was satisfied at the moment praying for kids who needed families. I would look at you know like adoptuskids or NWAE and just pray for a specific kiddo. Well one night I went to pray, and there were twin Native girls on there. That I can say is rare. I didn't like feel a pull toward them or anything I just felt like I wanted to pray for them to be adopted and have a good home. I mean how sad is it that kids are listed on sites anyways like we do animals. Kind of a bummer. So I prayed and then went to open my bible app to read the study for the day. Well it wasn't where it was supposed to be, it was on the verse above for some reason. Probably left over from a previous ladies night or something. But as I read the verse I felt this wave of emotion come over me. It was like something I have never felt before and I couldn't explain it. I thought, geewiz. What the heck. This thing sure says double a lot and I don't want those two girls so why the flip and I so emotional!! hmmm maybe I am about to start my period. You see people you see how wretched I am?!? I was totally confused, so I reread the dang thing. And I have realized that each line was for me. I was slightly afraid to tell some people in our family that we were going to adopt for fear of their response and because of that I was ashamed. I confuse things that I know God tells me in my head because I doubt Him when I need to lean on Him and not myself. His ways are perfect and I am learning that when He takes the lead and is in control things work out quite nicely. "therefore in their land they shall possess double." We are looking to adopt another little girl, from our state, a Native American. 1+1=2 (double, right here, in our land) And "everlasting joy will be ours. because HE promised.
Now you will notice I said that I recieved adoption confirmation in Sept. 2011 there was a little ride in between so buckle up buttercup.

2 years in a snapshot

I feel like I need to write everything down because I am going to want to look back one day on all of this. I mean I have a journal in house where I write my inner-most personal feelings...sorry internet-land you are not privy to that, but you get a lot:)
So as you can imagine when we started looking into adoption we thought we would adopt a girl as we had two boys. Then I became pregnant with my beautiful daughter and obviously we ceased all plans on that. The thought crossed my mind that maybe this was God's plan. I desired a daughter and he gave me the desire of my heart. I mean wasn't this my perfect little family or was there another person out there meant to join our family created by God, but birthed by another. I was confused because I was happy, and trying to be content but still had the desire for adoption.

Jump forward a year-ish. You find us in the pride classes because we know that at some point we are going to want to move forward with adoption, but also my cousin's social worker seems to think that being foster parents would be a good idea for having my cousin's come to visit. Then we could be respite. As Nash and I walk into the office to go to class I can't help but notice the large picture of Native kids all dressed in regalia they have hanging right in their entry way. Cute pic, I think to myself, and move on.
30-ish hours of class later we are done. And what did we do with it. We sat on it. We did absolutely nothing with the paperwork, the cert, nothing until just about 2 months ago.

In our hearts and on our minds...

Adoption has always been something I personally knew that I wanted in my life. I didn't know in what capacity. But even as a single person when I pictured my family I always pictured some kids that I had birthed ans some that were adopted, I just knew that I needed to marry a man who had the same idea. When Nash and I started talking marriage I remember talking about all of this with him. There was a time when I wasn't totally sure if I could have kids and so we did talk about adoption but I said even if we do have our own I still feel a pull into adoption and he was fine with that. Back then I just thought that we would adopt from China, I mean that is where people adopt from. Plus I have a cousin from there and so it seemed like the most logical thing to do. Well, a year or so into our marriage just out of sheer curiosity I took a look at the China requirments. We didn't meet the age ones or anything like that yet, but we also weren't looking to really adopt then I was just curious. Then there it was...NO EPILEPTICS. So let me get this straight, this country is throwing away their kids but because I have epilepsy I couldn't adopt one if I wanted too. Ya, I was really irritated. I have heard that little rule has been ammended to either they can or now they can if they adopt another epileptic or some other kind of "disability."
We then briefly looked at Ukraine as my wonderful bro-in-law is from there and wouldn't that be perfect...now mind you all, This "looking" is happening over a period of several years and two super cute bio kids. I read up on the country and there were somethings that just seemed a little crazy and not in a good way! After a discussion that seemed a no go too. Now over this period of time Nash and I keep seeing and hearing little things about foster care and foster/adopt. What is weird as I type this I can remember alot of the things that I saw or heard 2,3,4 years ago. I am also learning that sometimes things I think are weird might be God. I will be the first to admit that sometimes it is hard for me to tell is that God or is that just a quinkydink. But what I am learning is that if you keep hearing the same message over and over again, you keep seeing the same things over and over again, and this stuff happens when you are not thinking about it. That seems to be the big deal for me. He gets me when I am not expecting it.
Anyways I rambled there, I think I do that so if you are reading this...get used to it:)
Back to the weirdo foster adopt things I saw was actual signs and in odd spots, like driving down the road there was a sign on the side of the road saying if you want to foster adopt call this number. We were on a road trip and there was a huge sign hanging from inside the burger king. I remember that one specifically cause I thought what a weird thing to put in a burger king, dorks. I would hear ads on the radio. Then one day in my Indian news letter there was this little article about how there are all these Native kids in foster care and not one registered tribal member from our tribe. That is when Nash and I started talking about things and when I got pregnant, with my daughter.

The car

If God is with us, then who can be against us...

I will praise you in this storm...

Well it sure has been awhile since I have blogged. And there are several reasons for that, we all know the number one reason...I am a lazy blogger. I should just change the title from "The Lamberson Fam" to "The Lazy Blogger!" sometimes I write and sometimes I don't, what of it!!! But actually over the month there have been a few other things going on in our lives, and the lives of those we love.
Four weeks and three days ago I lost my Aunt Kim to melanoma. She fought hard, but the battle was lost. She left behind my beautiful, talented, wonderful 18 year old cousin who graduates high school this week. And while we mourn for her, I can still see the blessings God was giving us. I am glad for that. The small church for her memorial was across the street from where they grew up as kids. I did not know this when calling. I called two places, each for different reasons and this was the place that called me back. My friends and family helping out back home and allowing me to stay the week up there on such short notice, a major blessing in my life. My friend Heidi volunteering with her sweet MIL to watch our kids during the service on a few days notice. I mean really the little blessing during that week just piled up, did it make everything all better. no. did I feel all great, and like I wasn't still mourning. no. But even though I was sad, I could def. see that prayers were being answered. And THAT, my friends, was awesome.
Then as the week of blur came to a close and we were headed home we hit an elk coming over the pass. I remember thinking, seriously. Like really, now?!? Why NOW!!?? The kids were screaming, I was sceaming. The car was smoking. Garry and Tracie were backing up on the freeway. I panicked, which I normally don't do and called Dad- who was an hour and half a way and screamed we hit and elk! Come get us!!" Only to regain composer slightly and call a friend a half hour later and have dad meet us at their house.And sweet Cody txt one of his friends and they just showed up to the crash site, it was really a blessing. I looked out the window and there were some familiar faces helping us into cars. The to top all of that off Nash and his parents had to leave me and the kids to go home because there was a job the next day. I was a wreck, inside. But had to keep it together for the kids. Hudson was completly freaked out, and is still a little afraid. Especially of the dark. Car was totaled. My WONDERFUL Bro in law took me to gather our stuff from the wreckage and to meet up with my best friend. And as we pulled into the parking lot to meet with Lisa it hit me. I looked at Jerry and said... I think this has been an attack. An AC compressor that is brand new doesn't just go out for no reason. It stumped Nash and the AC guys. Then the week I got the call to go to Aunt Kim we were planning on turning in our homestudy paperwork. So that was all put on hold, and now let's just total the car for good measure.
Some words of a friend came to mind, she said just be prepared. It always seems that when you are doing something great for God and you are in His will Satan will try to throw a wrench in it, and make you question things. You will have a car problem, or some random thing will go awry. I kind of laughed and said "oh yeah right." I don't think I will laugh anymore.
I got home and told Nash what I thought and he said it is a good thing we are poor losers. Satan picked the wrong team to attack. :) We plan to obey what God has lined out for us and we know it must be something great.
Yesterday, we bought our new burb, and this one has a dvd player in it! upgrade!
Two weeks ago we turned in our homestudy paperwork. I just scheduled our fingerprinting, and it looks like we just got another checklist thing. Soon they will be coming to our house. We have prayed for a long time about this God is faithful and we are obedient. The next few months are bound to be an adventure. We can wait to see what God has in store for us.

James 1:22-27
Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.23 Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror24 and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.25 But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.

26 Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.