More pumpkin patch

Rough week

It's been a rough week in our house. Mr. 18 is choosing the hard road. Makes us all sad. Prayers to you Mr.18 prayers. May you grow up, and fall in love with the Lord. May you grow to be a loving man who WALKS in Jesus, may the words of your mouth match your actions.
Until then, I wish you well. We will miss you.

Long day...

So much to say. Not enough time. don't know where to start...
Mr. 18, you stress a sistah out. Be nice.

5 months...

Yesterday was 5 months since Aunt Kim died.  As I type that first sentence I still can't believe it is true. I can't believe that she is gone. I find myself re-reading old fb messages, and txts. Stumbling across old messages from her on pics. I draw in my breath, as if I were just punched. Is she really gone? Did that actually happen, or was that week just some horrible nightmare.
It is in the little every day things, like something that Liv would do or say. I think to myself, "ohemgee Aunt Kim will...no would... have thought that was so hilarious." In the stillness of these moments, as I write this, I don't even think I can fully let myself go "all the way there." I am not ready.
Do I feel as though I shove things down into a nice and neat little bottle concerning this. yep. and ya know what I am ok with that. for now. I am not ready to go there. I am ready to be the shoulder, the ear, the whatever that beautiful young woman now needs. But I do not want to discuss anything about my own sorrow quite yet because the truth is still the slightest things can catch me off guard. Something the lady said at the CPR class, the show I was just watching. I. miss. her.

Last night I couldn't help but think about that night. Re-living it as I was laying in bed trying to fall asleep. I don't know that I am quite ready to talk about everything in here. While having this outlet does feel like a nice place, I just don't know if I am there yet. But let's just saying that thinking about it did no good. I didn't know how to stop. There are things you can't unsee, unhear, unknow. Things you will never forget about a time and place. I can close my eyes and see everything about the hospital. The room, the extra room, the floor layout, the people. I can see Aunt Kim's house, though I felt like time stood still for us that week in that house, I can remember things like they just happened.

The other day, while at hobby lobby I like to look in the reminant bin. end bits and whatnot. I saw a piece that I had used on Aunt Kim's quilt, my immediate thought was, I wonder if this was from the same bolt I had bought from. Chucked it in my cart. Stupid thought, I mean surely they go through tons of fabric, but because that one had special purpose to me, I needed to have it.

oy... I think I will leave it at that now. I need to go to something productive anyways, like fold some laundry. 
peace out people.

adoptoberfest pics

 

little Miss and baby cousin Ash

We had a great time at the festivities.  Please note HN’s cotton candy beard was courtesy of Candy Clause himself…Uncle 18.  The pic of the band includes my two bro-inlaws, dad- in-law, and hubby.   Also the coats we picked up at the beach this year, they finally got to wear! So adorable

Then the tears came...

So the other week there was a court date. It was mainly for Little Miss' older sister but we were told that whenever there is a court case it can involve all children. Some other events happened, which I will not really get into here, mainly because it isn't anybody's business haha. But the ultimate outcome which while sad in many ways is happy. I always have mixed emotions because I want to feel totally happy but I feel a little guilty because my happiness is the result of someone who I was once close with sadness. 
So here is the latest from court. Termination AND adoption paperwork filed. More waiting. haha. I don't know what comes next. I never do. Everything is a waiting game and a guessing game. There could be a surprise, good or bad around every corner we turn with this. I just have to try to stay a step ahead.
When I heard this news I was just so overcome. It had been a crazy week, I had a friend over and as I hung up the phone I was trying to hold back tears and I couldn't. She was saying just go for, let it flow lady. I needed that. I was happy, I was excited, I was sad for my cousin, that she couldn't get her life together and it came for this. I was relieved that things were finally moving. I felt like I could breathe.
For now, we are happy. Happy.

The first week of October...

"...and everlasting joy shall be theirs."

 

The past few weeks, those few words I have clung to. And as I am just about to write how nicely things are going around here. Liv has woke up way to early this morning and is currently throwing a fit. About pants. I sorta find it funny, I mean I am sitting here just thinking about how fast the week went by, how nice it was, what a great night we just had. Then Liv starts whining about how she needs pants on. So Nash gets her pants. Those were not good enough, she wants "the perfect pants" she says. ohemgee child really. I hope she snaps out of it because we have pictures today:)

 

So back to the week... Yes I have been holding to those last few words of the verse. That in fact everlasting joy will be ours. God says so. Even though recently I can say I sure wasn't feeling very joyful around here. Having a huge gap with the the kids in the house can be trying at times. And it isn't because they don't get along, it is  simply because we have never parented a teenager...oh eh-em. man. before. So this is all new to us. We are learning as we go, and it is also a different situation because we are not his parents, we are his siblings, his parents are in fact pretty great. So finding a happy medium of sibling/parenting is rather weird, but I think that we are getting close. At least it feels that way. If I was asked last week, I would not have thought that he would be around much longer. Really I didn't. But I see a change in him this week. One I really hope is real. A realization that this is where he is right now. And an actual trying in his school work and social life. Mr. 18 I am proud of you. Last night I was quite in shock. He had come home from an overnighter at a friend's house, then off to cover a meet and had mentioned he might want to meet us out for adopobetfest- and adoption fundraiser of fall family fun. I txt him the address and by then he had changed his mind and was headed to the gym, no biggie. I really didn't think he would want to come. Ya there were people his age there but I didn't think he would want to go. Well we were sitting down listening to the Lambo band play some sweet bluegrass beats and up over the bales of hay pops Mr. 18!  We went on a hayride together with all the kids, he and Nash played some football, he hit a dude in the back. baahahaha. was great.

 

That leads into last night, adoptoberfest. A fundraiser who are working to bring home their sweet baby. They had a fall family fun night for a fundraiser and it was awesome. Hayrides, sweets, games, great music, and loads of fun! It is always fun to get together with other adoptive families. We are so lucky to have such a large adoptive community in our area.

 

HN,HW, and Little Miss have had a busy week with school. They had the jog-a-thon this friday, which they all loved doing. Most nights they each have homework, we are working on routines a lot in this house. With a kinder, 1st grader, and 2nd grader I am learning that I need to have even more routines and as much as they just want to go out and play until it is dark, and I want to let them, we have to have some kind of routine and order to how things happen. Otherwise junk just doesn't get done. Fun things are just well so much more fun!!

 

Also this week I worked both monday and friday at a middle school. I had a good time. I was in a resource room on Monday, and history on Friday.

 

The rest of the month is going to be busy here. At least the weekends. I will be gone every weekend except for this weekend. I still can't believe that. Busy busy.

Enjoy your day! I know I will, because when I woke up I thought it was Monday I was still so sleepy so I just got an extra day as far as I am concerned! haha



Sunday morning

Happy Sunday people. Go hug a kid. Probably your own or people will look at you weird.

Adoptoberfest and other fun

pictures... I figured out something new!

		A lovely wedding VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

Praise

Psalm 150:6 (NKJV)

Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord!

 

 





Let EVERYTHING that has BREATH praise the LORD!  Is that something that I do always? I mean honestly. I have breath. I am breathing right now. Sitting here as I am typing, breathing. But with everything I have do I always praise Him? No. I feel a bit guilty about this. I have much to praise Him for. A wonderful family, a lovely new daughter. Food to eat, the breath to praise with. Decent health. The list could on and on and on.  But am I shouting from the tops of the trees praising the Lord?
No. Often times I am whining, complaining. Wasting the breath that was so given to me. Well enough is enough. Sure are there some things that I wish could be different. Yep. Are there some things that I would love to change... you betcha. But what good does it do a person to use their breath muttering about something they have no control over. I want to use mine on the one thing I can control.
Praise.
I can praise Him when life is great.
I can praise Him when things are ok.
I can praise him when there is a storm...
and trust me, our family has had our share of storms this year.
I choose PRAISE.

Have a wonderful, day full of praise!


Peace out ><>