Going to the Westside...

So we are headed to the other side of the mountains for Easter again this year. In all honesty we were not going to. I sort of wanted to just lay low, have a kind of relaxed kind of thing. But then hubby mentioned he wanted to go see the new nephew anyways so we decided to go. I actually was not really even looking forward to it until recently because of certain person in my family that has been continously mean and rude, not only to me but about the adoption in general. I have been praying about what to do with this person. I love her, but right now I can't stand her. And here is what I believe God wants from me... Kindness and honesty. I have been honest with her before but it was via phone and I don't think that she HEARD. Or maybe she did and she just doesn't care. But her birthday is around the corner and I will give her a present and honest look into how she makes me feel and then let that be it. If I tell her what her harm is against me, I don't get the right to be mad about it anymore. It is her choice to keep doing it, or not. If she does, I know I have done what I can do and I can just pray for her and the situation I am in. I do pray she will get it though. And maybe she thinks I have harmed her. So I will be ready to listen to her.
Please pray that this goes well. This is not an easy thing. I really want to be done with this situation. Just steer clear of this person.

A road not taken

It is late. 11:59pm to be precise. I don't know why I'm even still awake. I'm tired. I should be asleep. It has been a busy week with lessons, a visiting mother, and work. Yet, I'm awake. And here is why...I've had contact with the first mom, my cousin, at the advisement of our adoption SW I contacted her so we could try to come to an agreement. I was only able to talk with her one day, but I hope we can resolve things.

Updated: 3/25/13
As you can see I didn't get very far on that late night. I even had to make several corrections upon looking back I must have been dozing while typing haha. So here is what is currently happening, there has been a lot...

The communication with First Mom did not go as well as I had hoped.  I suppose I dreamed up in my mind we would come to this wonderful agreement and that everything would be hunky-dorey. She would get her life on track and take care of the child in her care.
Here is what I know. She has many reservations about our family and does not trust any of us. This could be from many years of drug use and how it has effected her brain or it could be because she has kind of stunted maturity at the teen years, or a combo of everything. Maybe she is just sad and scared that things are finally coming to an end. I just don't know. I want to have contact with her. I want for there to be a good relationship between us. I want for her to be able to call and ask questions.

But at the same time she has to respect what we are doing  here. We, as family- a new family- need time to get our bearings. Things are always changing. And they will change again for Little Miss after adoption is finalized. I just wish everyone would understand this and give her and us time. We aren't saying never to see First Mom, just let the dust settle a bit.

Sitting on a bus

Just sitting in a bus. Today is a busy day. My little sister is having her second baby boy, I'm rushing over. She is one week late. And at 2 pm we have a ftdm. With our favorite people.
Pray for today!