Day 5

So you got a little blurp, then nothing... Dead air... Well that is because we are adjusting to baby life again. As you recall we have an 8 yr, almost 7, 6, and then 3 year old. So we have not had to wake up in the middle of the night lately. 

Mr. T is a sweet boy, one who needs a schedule a lil bit haha but still so sweet. His Momma is very friendly too. I can't say much but what I will say is to pray for  her and for her family.

My phone is about to die so I will leave you with this...

Our first placement ...

So we have our first placement! Mr.T we will call him on here. He is just precious:) his momma was quite brave. I don't think this is a usual situation, as she asked for help. So now friends I ask for your help! Let's join in prayer for this Momma and lil Mr.T!! Pray she gets the help she needs! And can focus on getting better.

Pictorial update

Life since TPR....

We lead a busy life around here. I think that God made each part of our personality as well as our body. Some of us like to be busy and doing things all the time and some like to lead a more restful and slower appoach to life. Neither one better, both just different. However, last year, because of epilepsy I was forced to take the slower road and learn to be ok with that. There are still things I am learning, but sometimes just having a slow day is great. I don't always have to be doing something. Which leads back to being busy. We are fairly busy, not NEARLY as much now that baseball is done, but in newer ways with the gym a new routine. I like this kind of busy though. It is a fun busy. Going here and there, piddling around and playing.
I have had many questions like, " so now that rights are terminated, is it all final then is she yours?" While I understand the question, we are still so far from that. From the legal aspect of her being ours. Also in this line of thinking I struggle within myself. Yes, she is ours, but she is also God's, and she was also someone else's little girl at one time too. But then I think again to myself, if I were ever in a situation like that I would have gone to the ends of the earth to retrieve my children. No mountain too high, no "stupid hoops" I wouldn't jump through. If I were told to run around singing mary had a little lamb through Pike's Place I would!!! ya know what I mean. When you are given all these opportunities and you dismiss them with nothing is ever your fault but always someone else's, it can tend to make a person less sympathetic toward you. What does that say of me? To have a calloused and cautious heart toward her. I don't know if that makes me wise to not be fooled knowing her ways, or harsh by not giving her more chances. With her for now, I feel like we have a big safety sign that says PROCEED WITH CAUTION. And quite honestly anyone else who chooses to just go for it with her is just looking for heartache. Her past behavior indicates this unfortunately.
 So legally after rights are terminated, we move to the adoptions department. And then wait some more. wait for the right people to get our files, and push it to the next set of people. Set up appointments for Little Miss, fill out more paperwork, and wait.
I am hoping that she will be adopted by the end of the year, that would be nice. But you just never know with the state.
Now as we said before we were opening our house to more foster kids. We are also in the wait mode for that. I think that it was important that we obeyed in a timely fashion with this, but ya know God may or may not have someone for us at this time. We just trust that everything goes according to His will. He has a plan for our lives and if we are walking with Him and trusting in Him then we know we are good no matter what happens:)

Wait. Pray. Obey.

So this morning I wanted to look back at a few of the verses that I had bookmarked during a bible study I had done during the 2011-2012 school year. This was an important bible study for me. I know that God was really working on my heart and my listening skills at this time. The study went through Esther, and if you know anything her she was adopted, by a relative. But more importantly the theme I was hearing throughout the study was..obey, be patient, obey.  Now if you know anything about me you know I am not super patient, I mean like if something exciting is happening I just am so excited I can't hardly wait. That kind of impatatient.
I can also have a tendancy to be a little scared or worried that it is too much of me and not enough HE. Second guessing things you could say. I still struggle with that a little, but to be honest stepping out like this still feels a little exciting/scary at the same time.

But He said to them, “Why are you so fearful? How it that you have no faith?”

 MArk 4:40 1/26/12

Yes, how can I have so little faith. I am not nearly alone. I have an awesome God who  has been faithful numerous times to help my scaredy cat self know that this is where he wants me. I have an amazing husband who has been walking this journey with me and SEEING the wonderful things God is doing with our lives.  And that is why I love this verse, it is a quick reminder, how on earth could I ever be afraid!! The SEAS obey HIM, the MOUNTAINS quake! Even if I am slightly apprehensive in obeying something my personal reasons are nothing compared to His commands. We must obey. And seriously if I told you some of the reasons why I was apprehensive about the next step coming up you would roll your eyes. Selfish, yep. that is me!

 

That leads us into THE NEXT STEP...

 

Blessed is she who believed, for there will be a fulfillment of those things which were told her from the Lord.”

Luke 1:45

OK, so this verse I noted at the end of 2011, also the beginning of, well of everything shall we say. As before noted I had received confirmation that we would be adopting before Sweet Hubby did and had to wait "ever so patiently" while he prayed. But fast forward to our licensing appt. we told our licensor we were only interested in be licensed for one right now. The one we were planning to adopt. Yes, you can have a baby in your room for up to a year, so we could have gotten licensed for two, but just didn't want to.  I can remember (and it turns out she did too) exactly what I said when asked about how many to be licensed for, " oh maybe in a few years or something, but not now! " - please insert wild laughter-

Now let's fast forward a bit more sweet little bro comes, room starts to be built for him, sweet bro goes, room goes on halt for awhile- we get it to the finishing point but at finishing you still need roughly several hundred bucks. Paint, carpet/tile, fixtures, inspections, etc.  Plan for the room goes from bro's room to sewing room of my wildest dreams and mudroom. Well here is where a series of events happen. I begin working at the schools more, therefore  coming across many kids in state care.  Now I really only worked at one school this past year but still came across several cases, then also came across others at other schools. One could expect this being a teacher, but on some level I don't really expect kids to talk to a sub about all of this. That isn't really something you just open up to a sub about. Here is where the turning point happened... I came home one day and was just sharing about my day at work with hubbypants. This day happened to be a very sad one as it involved a state kiddo, teen, who had to move because foster parents were ill. Well what I expected him to say was, "ya, that is really sad I hope they find her a home." I was thinking this really sucks for her cause she is going to have to change high schools again. Here is what he said..." well we DO have an extra room." Here is what I said, " ohemgee." Needless to say, the room did not get done as she had to be moved in like 3 days but it did start a move in our hearts. Let's fast forward to about three months after this. We know we are supposed to make that room a space for kids in need, but we need the supplies. So it is BBQ sunday at church the kids are playing in the bounce house and I am chatting with a friend. I mention I have to go and check mistints and see if there are any good deals to get the room painted she tells me, " I have a 5 gal of cream I am never using. You can have it." Well God ok,  sure there is one thing check. I had called around about carpet but one night hubby just stopped at a place and came home with a remnant piece that had stains-which are no problem for him- and it was only 30 bucks! He grabbed the lighting stuff the same night and that weekend the room was done. Which leads us to this week....

I know this has been long, but I want this for my own record to folks because GOD is really this AWESOME!!!

This week we had two inspections and now our home is coded, then the licensor from the state came last night and licensed us to foster...so now we wait. and pray. We wait for a call and we pray for discernment about allowing the right kiddo into the house. We know that we are in God's Will right now and we pray for continued protection for our family as we continue to obey.