Sept. 2011

Let me start with saying that sometimes people need their pants kicked by our sweet Lord. I am one of those people. I am doubting, I am questioning, I don't get things on the first time, then when I think I get something I question it, I sit on it, I say "is that really you God, or is that my wildly awesome inner monologue saying what I want to say? I mean those 10+ verses are kind of intreguing, and the fact that every time I go to church it has to to with 'obeying', 'listening to God's voice', kinda cool but how do I KNOW?!?!"

Isaiah 61:7
Instead of your shame you shall have double honor, And instead of confusion they shall rejoice in their portion.Therefore in their land they shall possess double;
Everlasting joy shall be theirs.

This verse might not mean much to many people and to many they might not even see what I see. But this is what God gave me and told me to start seriously praying about adoption. I was satisfied at the moment praying for kids who needed families. I would look at you know like adoptuskids or NWAE and just pray for a specific kiddo. Well one night I went to pray, and there were twin Native girls on there. That I can say is rare. I didn't like feel a pull toward them or anything I just felt like I wanted to pray for them to be adopted and have a good home. I mean how sad is it that kids are listed on sites anyways like we do animals. Kind of a bummer. So I prayed and then went to open my bible app to read the study for the day. Well it wasn't where it was supposed to be, it was on the verse above for some reason. Probably left over from a previous ladies night or something. But as I read the verse I felt this wave of emotion come over me. It was like something I have never felt before and I couldn't explain it. I thought, geewiz. What the heck. This thing sure says double a lot and I don't want those two girls so why the flip and I so emotional!! hmmm maybe I am about to start my period. You see people you see how wretched I am?!? I was totally confused, so I reread the dang thing. And I have realized that each line was for me. I was slightly afraid to tell some people in our family that we were going to adopt for fear of their response and because of that I was ashamed. I confuse things that I know God tells me in my head because I doubt Him when I need to lean on Him and not myself. His ways are perfect and I am learning that when He takes the lead and is in control things work out quite nicely. "therefore in their land they shall possess double." We are looking to adopt another little girl, from our state, a Native American. 1+1=2 (double, right here, in our land) And "everlasting joy will be ours. because HE promised.
Now you will notice I said that I recieved adoption confirmation in Sept. 2011 there was a little ride in between so buckle up buttercup.