Musings of Frusteration and Agitation

I would love to just be writing whisperings of rainbows and fluffy kittens, but folks that ain't adoption. Whether you are inter. or dom. that just ain't it. And we knew this all ready, we really did, but that doesn't make the situations that pop up any less surprising or irritating.
Since we are adopting domestically I will speak to that....

I am sitting here trying to think of a way to lead into what I want to say, but there just is no easy way to say it.
I know that there are some great social workers out there, I know this because I have come in contact with them. But the one that I deal with mainly is causing much grief. This is hard to write about because I know that I have to be vague to some degree, but I also just need to write, to breathe. I wish that this woman could see us, like physically see us. See what goes on here. She needs to actually as it is sort of her job. But instead she has someone from this side of the mountains visit.  (let's not even get started on how we are so far away for people because we live over here...) She sits and casts her opinion on us, tells me what we should be doing for visitation once termination has been made, and listening to lies of others.
I just don't understand this lady, we have done everything that she asked, jumped through every hoop given. Why is she, and apparently someone else trying to stir the pot?
While I am typing this I wonder while I complain and whine, could I look at this differently? Instead of this just being more annoying junk, and really I do think that, trust me ask my sister you didn't want to talk to me on Thursday. But could this be more of a refining? I know I am a far cry from where the Lord would have me. Sure I answered His desire, I willing bent to His call. But how long did it take to answer to one thing? The answer, my friends and family is over a year. About a year from the day I received the verse above we received another daughter. Shouldn't I be willing to just jump when the Lord calls us to? I mean yes we pray for confirmation, but otherwise we go.
I have also seen lots of ways that I could be refined on a daily basis through this, that I need to be kept on my knees more- and first, patience, quietness, calmness. Enjoying the smallest blessings along with the biggest.
....I don't know how I got off on such a tangent when talking about social workers, but welcome to my head! Anyways, back to what I was originally saying...I am just not sure what to do about her or really if there is anything to do. I think that we just have to stick to our guns about our desires for our family and go from there. And what is more uneasy is the feeling that some of my most loved family could just so easily turn on me. Ok, granted, I don't know this for fact. But I sure don't know what else it could be. I just don't know. Here I am speaking of specific incident, but in general there has been some people who I can say I won't win a popularity contest any time soon with. haha. I don't understand why things like that happen, all I know is that I am a Daughter of a King, a Wife, a Momma, a Sister, an Aunt, a Daughter... and if people can't join in the happiness as we follow the Lord then all I can do is pray. I can't say that it doesn't hurt. It does. It hurts when you feel judged by someone who does not know you, and it hurts worse when you feel slighted by someone who does. But what can I do but move on.
This post has been kind of the ramblings of my heart over the past week or so, if you made it through, congrats. I am not going to read back through it, I am just going to post it.